XANGA #7

Main News:

Well, I had to turn in that lit article today…yeah
I know, late. Kiss my ass. Did I even write about the right thing? Hell
no. I like what I wrote about more anyways. And she will too. I’d post
it for y’all but it’s two pages not counting works cited. Plus, I
honestly doubt that anyone would care anyway.
It’s odd, I’ve been rather…melancholy recently. By
“recently” I mean the past month. I think some girls may dig my jive
but, I can’t hurt them by kindness or cruelty. Let me explain myself.
Tuesday I was sitting in my biology class and sitting in front of me
was this girl. She is your typical popular, nothing-can-touch-me,
snotty-ass little girl. She was sobbing. Why? This girl, who never
showed any compassion towards anyone else, this girl who acted like no
one could touch her, was in tears because her boy”friend” mistreated
her.
Relationships, to me at least, seem to be a
lose-lose situation. You can either say “Yeah, let’s be an item!” and
accept the drama that will ensue. When you say “yes” you are shooting
yourself in the foot. You are setting yourself up for the melancholy,
the depression, the heartache, and the loneliness that causes breakups
and cheating. You’re not going to marry this person whom you are dating
in the tenth grade.

And to all you aim users:
1. Yes you can stop thinking about that person. Don’t you dare hand me
that horseshit. If you are that obsessive, then your ass has some
personality disorders.
2. Placing some tag in your profile only means that you spend
entirely too much time on AIM and you need to get a life. Also, it
means that all you want is too fit in, so you placed it there like
everyone else who watches One Tree Hill.

To all of you who think that you are in love in high school (the
exception is seniors, y’all are on a different maturity level, and
hopefully you’ve gotten this figured out):
1. You are not.
2. You and your “love” stand a decent chance of never seeing each other out of high school ever again.
3. All you are doing is fucking with each other on an emotional level.
And you don’t care because you are a totally self-consumed teenager.

So, asketh you, how doth one hurteth with kindness
or cruelty? Here’s how: I can be nice an indulge these girls, leading
to an eventual break-up and hurt them. Kindness. OR: I can try to let
them down softly and hurt them right off. Cruelty.
Is my approach far too bitter and unemotional? Yeah,
probably. Will certain people probably become very offended by this?
Yeah, but I could care less. The point is, I am stuck with this delima,
either I hurt some poor girl by cruelty or kindness. To be honest, what
I’ve been calling cruelty seems to be less cruel in the long run.
That’s why I lean toward that option.
I don’t care if girls like me. Believe me, it’s an
ego booster. But it puts me in a moral delima and in a position of
causing pain. I don’t care to be there. I’ve just now realized how
large this post is and how much of a rant it truly is. Whatever. That’s
how I look at it. Right or wrong. I know for a fact, that everyone who
reads this will totally disagree with me and let me know somehow. OK,
you do that. Your comments get saved in the archives.
In the long run even my posting such seems
meaningless. In the end, our words melt away as time passes over them,
like stones in a riverbed. The pain, the sorrow…will all be forgotten
for a while, until the scabs are ripped off and the pain flows through.
Then idiot kids will scream out for help as they drown in agony. The
few who heeded the warnings and signs and escape will not help the
drowned for it is allready to late. To attempt to pull one into the
boat will only result in the boat capsizing and drowning everyone.

Other News:

1. Football Article: I don’t think that one is going to be out in this issue. There’s just too little going on right now.
2. Having said what I have, let me say this: I am not heartless. I feel
loneliness. I walk down the halls and see couples kissing and I want
that as well. I just cannot sacrifice myself by entering a relationship
where I know that the shit will hit the fan. Because it will. I cannot
purposely hurt myself.

Song Lyrics
“Daughters” by John Mayer

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she’s just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I’ve done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I’m starting to see
Maybe it’s got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It’s the same she’s been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she’s left
Cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You’ll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A womans good, good heart

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

night y’all…and do let me know what you think…